Dear younger me,
For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear,
I will help you. Isaiah 41:13
You’ll use this verse quite often.
I could tell you how important faith is; I could advise you to keep walking with God; I could tell you “God is with you.” I could, but I won’t. Because you already know all of this. Your faith is strong; your walk is steady, praise the Lord. So I will tell you: It is going to get a whole lot stronger. Yes, that is as foreboding and hopeful as it sounds.
There is so much you have to discover about God. Every time you think you’re as close to Him as you could possibly be, He pulls you even closer. That’s just His nature. He is so powerful, my love. He does such wonderful, awe-inspiring things in your life. Just you wait. God is infinitely more than you know, and He reveals Himself to you when you actively seek Him.
The fear of the Lord
is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the
Holy One is understanding.
You learn to truly, openly, honestly pray, to worship. You already knew these things, but God takes you further. Faith is growth. It is a living, breathing relationship, and it should grow like one. I know you didn’t grasp what that means yet, but after a series, a rather long series, of ups and downs you come to understand that, too. Faith isn’t stagnant. There will be days when it feels like it is, though. Like you’ve learned nothing, understood nothing, and are no closer to following God than you were the day before. But He is working, and you are growing. You never reject God, or turn from your faith, but there are times when you drift away. And you’ll feel those repercussions. But there is purpose to the pain, always. Abba welcomes you home every time, dear. You can never wander out of reach.
Faith has always been real to you, but there have been so many moments, epiphanies, that catch your heart and draw you closer and more real to Him. All those nights you begged and pleaded to hear God’s voice, He wasn’t silent; He wasn’t ignoring you. You just weren’t actually listening. I hear His voice now, through no feat of my own, sometimes clear and warm, others quiet and persistent. God always answers. “Hold fast.” “Be still.” “I’m not done yet.” “You see, My child.”
And the moment you realized you didn’t understand what it means to love God. I mean, you did love Him, but you had never said it, never actualized it. It clicks, my love. It clicks and God smiles.
Faith cannot be stagnant. God loves you too much for you to live in anything less than the active pulse of His character. His power, His strength, His wisdom. You will live in less if you choose such, but God has a plan. Everything you think you understand now, there is so much more. God is mercifully faithful. Not once are you alone. His mercy truly is new every morning. It took me a while to understand the depth of that truth. Now that I have, it makes mornings worth smiling for, and we are not a morning person. That’s just how God works.
God is home, sweetheart, more than any person or place on Earth- again, the hard way. He is Love; He is peace; He is shelter. You can be yourself with Him; He knows you better than you do, better than I do. All the good, all the bad. God is in control. God’s got it- that’s my current anthem. He knows so much better than you do, trust me. You won’t trust me; you’ll make the mistakes, you’ll feel the hurt. But God is there. God knows.
Most importantly, though, God is hope. Only Him. You’ll put your ‘hope’ in a lot of things, a lot of people, before you understand what eternal hope really means. Hope in God, in His power and His power alone, becomes your foundation. When people ask why you’re able to smile, why you’re so happy and calm most of the time, the answer is simple. Jesus lives, Amen.
God is the Promise Keeper.
All my love,
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your HOPE in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God.